Parents Need Good Self-Esteem, Too!

Part One: SELF-TALK

As parents, we focus so much on taking care of our family and working, whether that is a job, a career, or working in the home. This may sound selfish, but the best way to take care of others is to take care of yourself. By taking care of yourself, you can also serve as a self-esteem role-model for your child.

What does taking care of yourself mean? It means focusing on yourself to ensure that you are happy and heathy. Are you thinking you really don’t have the time or energy to do this? So much of taking care of yourself is not about added time, it’s about changing how you think. By taking care of yourself, you are taking care of your family, your friends, and, very importantly, your child.

SELF-TALK serves as a powerful locomotive in the development of self-esteem, positive or negative. We all have that voice inside ourselves, and we have a choice to think about situations or self-perception in a positive or negative way. You can create your own best friend in YOU by ensuring that what you say to yourself is positive. Here are some words by Shad Helmstetter, Ph.D., who has written a number of books on self-talk:

“The words you say, especially the words you say when you talk to yourself, not only change your day, they change your life.”

Here are some tips that can help you develop POSITIVE SELF-TALK:

  • Focus on the positive. If you find yourself having negative thoughts about yourself, think about something else more positive.
  • Work on awareness and quickly identifying that you are having a negative thought about yourself.
  • Develop a strategy to stop negative thoughts. For example, say to yourself, “STOP,” or come up with a word or phrase that works for you.
  • When negative self-talk occurs, reflect on your own individual abilities, skills, and achievements.
  • Don’t compare yourself to others, as that is a losing game. Trust me, others will always have something that you don’t. A family member, friend, or colleague may have skills or achievements that you do not have, but the key is to focus on yourself. There is always something that sets you apart from others.
  • You might consider making a list of your skills and achievements.
  • At the end of each day, reflect on everything you accomplished that day.
    • If you’re a parent, think about all the positive things you did for your child today. You took care in the building of a human being. This is wonderful and magical.
    • Think about all the people you helped today and everything that you accomplished.
  • Set a goal for 30 days to be conscious about what you say to yourself. Every time a negative thought about yourself enters your mind, use your STOP word and change the script. This will help you establish permanence. It can be as easy as 1, 2, 3.

1. Negative self-talk: I did not do a good job on this task.

2. Use your STOP word.

3. Then, follow this with thinking about positives.

There have been many other tasks that I’ve done well, and I learned a great deal from this that will help me perform better in the future.

The smartest, best, and most successful people know that excellence comes from learning from your mistakes and having the awareness and desire to do it better.

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Here are some books that Grandpa Steve’s Kids recommends that will help you with Self-Talk. Have a wonderful self-talk day!

1. 365 Days to Positive Self-Talk

2. What To Say When You Talk To Yourself

3. The Self Talk Solution